Convention for a fulfilling relationship


Today I want to share some­thing very mean­ing­ful to me.

I have writ­ten this piece of prose years ago, in French. I trans­lated it recently and I still feel at peace when I read it. When I share it with some­one, I still feel that I share a lot about myself, how I man­age rela­tion­ships with peo­ple around me, and, mostly about my per­sonal values. 

What is a per­sonal value?

“A value or belief is a trust or con­vic­tion — a feel­ing, idea, or opin­ion — about a prin­ci­ple, stan­dard, or aspect of life that is con­sid­ered to be true, desir­able, and inher­ently worthwhile.
 
Whether or not we are con­sciously aware of them, every indi­vid­ual has a num­ber of per­sonal val­ues. Val­ues can range from the com­mon­place — the belief in hard work, self-reliance, and punc­tu­al­ity — more psy­cho­log­i­cal val­ues, such as con­cern for oth­ers, trust in oth­ers, and har­mony of purpose.”

Patrick William and Diane S. Menen­dez. (2007) Becom­ing a pro­fes­sional life coach. pp. 216–17 **

I know why this piece of prose is about my per­sonal val­ues: even more than 20 years later, it still sounds pro­foundly true and valid to me. It does not mean I always act this way with peo­ple around me. Some of them would eat me raw if I behaved accord­ing to these val­ues all the time. I have learned to pro­tect myself (and my inner self too) in soci­ety. Though, when I need to trust some­one as much as he/she needs to trust me, dur­ing coach­ing ses­sions, by exam­ple, I drop the day-to-day armor and I show some vul­ner­a­bil­ity, as a sign of good faith. It served me well up to now… Peo­ple usu­ally respect integrity. To show your­self as you really are is part of integrity.

Enough said for the moment; let’s lis­ten to the poet in me. Please, do not for­get: I still write with my French Cana­dian accent. So for­give me the pas­sive voice  and so and so.